@ 9:38 PM
it's the EVE:
Well- It's christmas eve today and I wasn't aloud to go anywhere. I slept the whole day away until 4:40 almost 5:00. I was really exhausted after working five days in a row.
I've been better though. I've had some pretty depressing nights- but last night, when i was talking to someone... i figured out how to stop my mind from thinking about things from the past. It's been working so far. And the issue with the "people I'd rather not talk about" is getting a whole lot better. I blocked them and they've said a few things but for some reason- they haven't gotten to me much anymore.
Christmas is tomorrow, the last day i'm in town. I leave for 5 days (the 26th-30th). I took off till the 2nd at work... I simply needed a few personal days :D
Tomorrow, I'm opening here and then heading to my aunts house all day, or until around 7:00PM probably. After that... I'm hoping I'll see someone, just once before i leave. Welp, sorry for the delay in all the updates.. my computers been acting up- but i'm heading out. See yea.
You told me you would be here by my side
Warming my heart on this cold winter's night
Christmas time = mistletoe and wine
I just wanna keep on waiting.Underneath the mistletoe.
Merry Christmas eve.
@ 4:17 PM
A trend?:
Sometimes, I really just don't know at all. I feel like my emotions are all screwed up and theres no way to get away from it. I feel like I drag people down and 'cause nothing but pain for most. I can't be happy anymore, it's like a trend for me now- not being able to be happy. I mope, complain, I do just about everything that gets on peoples nerves.. I don't know whats wrong.
In other news, Lord Of the Rings: The Return of the King comes out wenesday, how exciting is that? Well as much as I want to see it, and love the series, I am going to dread that day and the weekend to come. It's going to be packed like MAD. I might just pass out and get it over with.
Working today, from 6:00-8:00... it's going to be dead. Maybe tonight, though, I wont work with annoying people... I don't really feel like doing anything today, my legs have felt weak all day and I don't feel all that great. But whatever...
I guess when our break comes from school- I'll at least get that little vacation to Ohio that might cheer me up for awhile. Though over our break, I will have to work a lot... morning shifts more than likely.
Anywho.. off to do nothing, which is what I do all the time. My life is dull, I know.
I'm out...
- and I cry...
@ 4:08 PM
Thanksgiving:
I was over at my aunts house for awhile for thanksgiving. Our family here is really close, for some reason I really hadn't noticed it till today. I had a good time, just came back to take out the dogs and feed the animals.
I told my dad about something that needed to be said about yesterday. He told me not to tell my mom today, so I have no idea when I am going to tell her what is going on. I want to tell her to get it off my chest but you know.
I also have to go to the dentist soon to see if I need my wisdom teeth pulled... yuck.
@ 2:30 AM
The house?
Ryan and I whent and saw the Haunted Mantion. It wasn't all that great at all. Once agian, I feel asleep but I wasn't the only one this time. There wasn't a lot of funny parts in the movie, and Eddie Murphy could have acted a little better.. but you know.
So yeah, that was just about all I did after I worked. Not to exciting, but the night ended well.
- "Iz you iz o' iz you ain't?"
@ 8:53 PM
Early isn't always better...
Had to wake up early today, 8:00 AM to be exact. It was ok I guess, Opening isn't that bad at all but still- I was tired. I worked till around 4:05 and then I whent and talked to Joe and Ryan for a little before they had to work. Poor Ryan...(stomach). Yeah and like yep.. I guess thats all.. right now I'm just siting, knowing that I am going to get yelled at at any moment by that someone... fuck...
@ 1:07 AM
what a DAY
I had maybe the worst day ever. It started off ok, you know school was fine as usual but then I come home and get bitched at for maybe 2 hours straight. Seriously, why can't he just stop and let me run my own life. I'm really sick of it. Well, anyway, after that I had to work pretty much right after school, 4:30. So I was late because of his bitching and yelling at me for giving him 2% of my attention.
I go to work feeling really shitty and down, and I am working and its fine besides a few mean customers which normaly don't bug me at all but today, for some reason, they just affected me more than usual.
So I get off and like, I felt like I was going to cry, I was on the brim of actually crying. So I go and talk to Ryan for a little at his box and then some guy comes up to me and hes all like "Hey.. your hott" and then he like looked at me up and down and made me feel really uncomfortable.. When Ryan gave him his ticket, I thought he might of left... but he came up to me and started to look at me agian and was saying "are you single?" "how old are you?" He was 21, I am only 17 by the way, and so hes like "it'll still work" I'm just like.... fuck.... please leave, please leave. He even hands me a little card with his number.. I'm like god what the fuck. I was so scared.. and then he was about to leave but added in "can I have a hug?" I look at him and I give him that "no way / ahhhhh I'm scared" kind of face and then he puts his fucking arm around me. I was going to cry- I hate it when people do that. I just hate it. So then I waited for Ryan to go on his 10 minute break so he could walk me to my car.
When I was driving home.. I couldn't hold it in any more, I just cried.. I cried for so long, I hate how things happen like that. My whole day was packed with bad things.. each stacking on top of the other. Only one good thing happend, and that was before I left to go home...
Life just blows sometimes... *pounds head*
- I've become so numb...
@ 10:51 PM
errands DONE
I had to go out all today and run errands. I had to refund my Ataris ticket since they cancled out and then I had to go to Cold Stone to get my check, WHICH my manager didn't even have... So yeah, pointless trip there. After that I ran up to SOME-PLACE to buy Joe's gift. I also whent up to Ttown for a little and chatted with Ryan; that one manager always talks to me! lol. I think, though, that I'm going to head out... I don't feel so great anymore. My ammune system completely shut down when I was like 5... I get sick way to easily. I want the FFX-2 game! It just came out! welp gtg. g'nite.
@ 04:49 PM
UP and ready
Today was pretty much the same as any other day, except- I got up in time to get hott chocolate.. isn't that amazing? Me get up early... *sweat drop* I don't think that'll ever happen agian.
My math grade is dropping very rapidly. I had a 98% in that class maybe like 2 weeks ago.. and now it's an 84%.. how gay.. I swear that teacher *holds up fist*
I have to turn in all my Cold Stone stuff today and pick up my check. As many of you know- I currently quit that job and am now working at Ttown.. woo hooo!
- kiss me.... diss me
@ 11:51 PM
SPOOOKY Halloween! ninja power!!!
Today is halloween and I didn't do much. At school they had the blood drive and everyone was giving blood. Sara and myself filmed it and I waited for Ryan as he gave blood too. He keep by me becauase I would get dizzy so bad from blood. Then I whent to Kellys house with Richard and what not and we were dressed up as ninjas... which, was odd but fun! We wanted to go to tinsltown like that but ended up taking them off and going up there anyway. After playing with water baloons that is. So we whent up that and I saw Ryan, lol. He had a red shirt on and had fake blood coming out of his nose and a bandaide on his arm. he was working too hahaha! It was awesomeee. I think I am looking in for a job there... and I may need help but well see....... don't fling blood on me!!! I'll pass out!!!!! ahhhh ^_______________^
bALh... I am leaving tomorrow though to go somewhere I don't want to. But things cant be helped I guess... who knows... who knows...
- FIRST ENTRYYYY everrrrrrrrr (2003)
